We needed a beach and a sunlounger before 5* exploded. Quick. We toasted our Elephant adventures with pashionfruit mojitos at the Rooftop bar back in Chiang Mai and flew to Samui the next day. After a lovely stop in a hotel on a northern fishing village beach in Ko PhaNgan we were on our way to Ko Tao, leaving the stench of air-dried squid behind us.
We dumped our bags at Big Blue Diving; 5* used to work on the ships with one of the dive instructors, Helen, and we walked along Sairee beach in the hottest sea I’ve ever been in to find a hut. Helen then took us to some local bars and showed us a great time over the next few days for which I’m forever grateful. So great to have an insider’s knowledge. Where to get the best hooky dvds, where you can get the most fried rice for your cashola etc. The ladyboy show was excellent. Their awful lip-syncing really made my night.

This was during his/her rendition of Spears' 'Toxic'.

She also taught me how to get a gecko to stay still on my nose; a skill I’m very glad to add to my bag but not sure I’ll ever use in England. She sorted me a bike and I semi-automaticised my way round Tao’s tricky tarmacs, stopping off at road-side cafes where we grabbed Panang, rice, soup and a lemon ice tea for 70Baht which is about £1.30.We went to an amazing bay that you had to walk down the last 500m as it was too crazy on a bike. The coral was so beautiful and the sea so clear, it would have been the perfect snorkel if I had not had a giggling fit with (at) 5* and panic-drowned and sliced my foot open on some coral.
The vibe at Ko Tao is pretty darn sweet- most people are diving there so by the evening they are all sunburned, tired and up for lazing on big bean bags at one of the bars along the beach. I discovered a nice Bloody Mary at Vibe bar and decided that I would start a Bloody Mary Scoring system for the rest of my trip. I bloody love bloody Bloody Marys I do. So, Vibe Bar, Ko Tao: 8/10 (nice consistency of Tomato juice, well spiced, lemon nice but a bit too much ice so you didn’t get that much. Don’t fob me off with shed loads of ice thank you very much.)
I saw lots of fire twirling which although I always thought I’d hate, it’s nice to stare at, photograph and say “yeah, I could do that- piece of piss” whilst secretly thinking it looks like the most dangerous thing in the world. Especially for a 9 year old boy to be doing. I mean- can you imagine Digby?!
I loved the Ko Tao dogs. Nearly as much at the Elephant Nature Park dogs- might have forgotten to mention them. Me and 5* had our own pack, innit. There are 57 at the park- they just hear about it and swim down the river to hang out. New ones are arriving every day. Anyway, yeah so the Ko Tao ones were cool too. I miss Coco and Lulu and Poppy but I’m starting to think that they are treated like royalty. In Thailand most dogs have owners but they just roam about all day sleeping and grabbing snacks. All friendly and scratchy. It’s a dog’s life out here.
Hayley and I had a crash, the bruises from which are now yellow, purple and green respectively. I’m not saying it was anyone’s fault, but let’s just say never get on a bike with Hayley. (kidding Fowler, kidding. Not really kidding.)
So after 4 nights with the lovely 5* it was time for her to leave and go back to the desk-job. Sad, but feeling a buzz of excitement that I was finally ‘doing it’ and being a solo traveller, I took a stroll through the town to buy some less juvenile suncream than the factor 45 emulsion that I had in my bag. Suddenly Ziv, one of the Israelis from the ENP jumped out from a medical centre as he had just got the no-no to dive due to a bit of a cough (seriously, if you have ANYTHING wrong with you, they don’t let you dive) So, he had to wait two days before starting his course and we hung out, long-tail boated and snorkelled about like snorkelly snorks on a little Island called something like Nuangmalandan. Then I got a bit bored so I went to Ko PhaNgan to meet Vicky, another ENP person who was hanging there for a while. Check me out, getting all bored off a paradise Island…

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